Teacher: Do you want to hear the funniest computer science joke ever?Not so funny. But also nothing to do with computer science. No wonder my kids sometimes think I fix computers for a living.
Student: SureCustomer: My computer crashes every time I press enter.Teacher: Now wasn't that the funniest computer science joke ever?
Tech Guy: So don't press enter.
Student: Yes it was.
Monday, June 05, 2006
The Funniest Computer Science Joke Ever
My kids watched one of the Disney Channel sitcoms and I caught the
following exchange:
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N = 1 implies P = NP.
ReplyDeleteEven though it is sad, it reflects reality. People do not know what computer science is.
ReplyDeleteWe should do sth to change that.
But you, and I mean theoreticians in general (not just Lance), do fix computers, don't you? You make them run faster :-)
ReplyDeleteBut not too fast, or they might crash...
ReplyDeleteIt's a funny joke, alright. But a funny IT joke, nothing to do with computer science at all.
ReplyDeleteA theory joke: for Chuck, P = NP.
Go and explain your daughter that you are proving LOWER BOUNDs on the speed at which a computer can solve a given problem. Pull your hair crazily when she asks why you would want to do such a thing: don't you want the computer to be as fast as possible?
ReplyDeleteI'm here wondering why the heck they think that's a joke.
ReplyDeleteWas something lost in translation? (I'm not English native speaker)
In all fairness, they did not claim it was funny. They just said it was the funniest computer science joke.
ReplyDeletemisha b
A little theory joke:
ReplyDelete"Let \epsilon be a real less than zero..."
Here's a joke with more of a TCS flavor.
ReplyDeleteA professor is giving a student an oral quiz on linear programming.
Professor: What is "Feasibility"?
Student: When a point satisfies all constraints.
Professor: What is "Optimality"?
Student: When a point achieves the max (or min) objective value amongst all feasible points.
Professor: What is "Complementary Slackness"?
Student: When I forget to tell my girlfriend how pretty she looks today.
nickh@mit.edu
Two computer scientists walk into a bar...ahh.. never mind.
ReplyDeleteHere's one from the glory days of the Usenet
ReplyDeleteQ. How many rec.humor readers does it take to invent a new light bulb joke?
A. 100: one to post the joke, the other 99 to follow up with "How many software engineers does it to clange a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem"
How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?
ReplyDeleteOne, if it knows its own Goedel number.
1. A student goes up to Wirth and says "I have this idea for garbage collection -- keep a count of all the references to an object, then reclaim all of those whose reference counts reach 0". Wirth replies "A student came up to me and said 'I have this idea for garbage collection...'"
ReplyDelete2. A student is repeatedly rebooting his computer, trying to get it to work. Minsky comes up and says "You can't just reboot the machine without knowing what your doing and expect it to work." Minsky then reboots the computer and it starts working.
3. The Americans pronounce Wirth's name "Nickles Worth", whereas the Europeans pronounce it "Nicklaus Wirth". That is, the Europeans call him by name, the Americans by value."
The joke about Minsky is the only one I laughed at.
ReplyDeletePhysicists and mathematicians have plenty of jokes about them... where are all the computer sciences jokes?
A classic comic, from
ReplyDeleteA programmer, looking into the computer says "I wish you could talk, I would like to know what are you thinking", in the next vignette the computer goes "I wish you could think I would like to know what are you saying".
you know that your poem is sad, but many people don't know what coumputer science is.
ReplyDeleteI think there is a difference between science and engineering. and "Computer Science" is thought more of engineering like building systems, networks etc. And theory is more of maths.
ReplyDeleteNO .NO. NO. NO . YOU NOT FUNNY YOU NOT FUNNY YOU NOT FUNNY.
ReplyDeleteTHANKS FOR WASTING 15 SECONDS OF MY LIFE.
YOU ASS. YOU SUCK ASS. SHAT.
tg
http://phoxis.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/travelling_salesman_problem.jpg
ReplyDelete